Seoulscapade

Here’s how a Thai scam I got caught up in was played out. First the “hooker” stops you in the street with small talk—myfirst mistake was to pay attention to him; then he suggests a good temple or something to visit. He also tells you about an “expo” that many tourists visit that has good deals on. He pretends to be just helping you out, a kind of local sharing his knowledge.

What hooked me was that everything was coincidentally within reach of where I want to go anyway. It was all too easy. If you agree—my second mistake—he says he’ll explain everything to the driver and directly flags down a taxi. This taxi is, in fact, driven by someone he knows, although it doesn’t seem that way. The front door is opened but the car is parked so that the door hits the curb. Some fuss is made of this, and it presents an excuse to make sure you are seated in the back. Now you are in the hands of the “driver,” who takes you to the recommended temple.

Somewhere near the alleged temple, the driver parks and waves you in its supposed direction. As you walk in the direction he has waved, another guy will be there, another kind of friendly stranger, to point you on if you seem lost. This guy is what I call the “funneler,” who directs you down a path leading to a clearing where another “scene” is set to take place.

You came to a clearing and, naturally, do not see a temple. So you are left looking around, at which point the ‘primer’ appears. The primer will engage you in more small talk–”where are you from,” etc., the standard opener. His job is to lead the conversation around to the “expo” that the “hooker” had mentioned earlier, to prime you for when you go there. He’ll speak of the great deals and how he shops there. He’ll also throw in some familiar expressions and place names to give you the impression that he’s well travelled.

I threw a few questions at this guy and he wasn’t too smart at thinking outside of his script. He tripped up and awkwardly recovered, but I was already aware that things didn’t add up anyway.

I nodded at his sales pitch until I got a chance to ask directions to the temple. “It’s closed,” he said. Now I was getting pissed. Of course, the idea is not to give you a tour, it’s to get you to where they want you to be. After returning to the driver, he took me to the so-called “expo,” which turned out to be an ordinary backstreet shop. The windows were blackened, and I asked the driver whether or not it was actually open. This is when he really nervy, insisting that I go inside. That may or may not have been part of the script. At this point I really felt like smacking him a few times.

However, I decided to follow through. I got out and went to see what was inside. It was empty except for the shop attendants hanging around, and there were women inside who immediately scurried off with guilty looks. All I could see was standard tourist junk jewelry and clothing. I strolled about quickly brushing off staff attempts to engaged me in conversation. There was an atmosphere of intimidation but I think they could sense I wasn’t going to take much more shit from anyone. I’d had enough of the game. I left pretty quick.

So this was where the drama was designed to lead me in the hope I would part with some cash. I wondered if they ever made any money out of this; if they’re still doing it then I guess there are tourists out there who don’t know when they’re being shafted. What they got out of me, split up between all of the “players” amounted to very little even by Thai standards. The driver would have made more had he actual been doing an honest day’s work.

Outside I noticed that a mini bus was blocking in the taxi driver. It’s driver saw me and moved to let the taxi out. How this fits into the plot I don’t know. What was going on there? Was the taxi driver under some obligation?

I walk over to the taxi, seeing the driver vigorously and elaborate pick his nose hair. I’d seen this disgusting and childish behaviour in China when someone is unhappy with a tourist. If you’re lucky enough to be treated to one of these spectacles, just be aware that it’s all about trying to insult you, not about personal hygiene.

I got in the taxi and told the driver to take me further into China town. On the way, he continued to nose-hair pick and I continue to ignore it. I was soon in the main part of China town a couple of blocks away and suggested that he drop me there and then, offering probably more than the fair would have added up to but not much more.

He agreed and suddenly became concerned with my welfare in getting out of the taxi. I got out and treated him with politeness, saying thanks with as much sincerity as I could muster, in the hope that it would make him feel like crap.