Seoulscapade

I was married to Sunah on September 30th, 2005. It was a traditional wedding as you can see, in which I wore a traditional clown suit with a kind of Mickey Mouse hat. It’s all you need really.

Were doing a typical post-ceremony pose orchestrated by photographers at Korea House where we had the wedding. I look a sight younger because I’ve been heavily “photoshopped.” The album production team laboured hard over my images, I was informed. They “photoshop” all wedding photos apparently, as part of the service, but a foreigner’s paler features, like mine, present extra challenges; in my case, the blotches, scars, freckles, lines, and whatnot, all had to be attended to. Presumably, teams worked around the clock to arrive at the picture you see.

Like many weddings, ours was prone to a series of mishaps, starting with our being overcharged for the traditional hambok dress made for my parents, who had recently arrived in Korea for the event. The tailor had not so much misled us directly but had implied, through no doubt practiced omissions and ambiguous allusions, that my parents’ hamboks would be half the price of the ones to be made for Sunah and me. They were in fact the same price; nonetheless, they did look good on the wedding day.

The next drama was the night before the wedding day. A member of my family had not arrived in Seoul at the appointed time, and after much conjecture, a call to his home number in England revealed that he had not left and had actually missed his flight without realizing it! There was a mix up with day of the flight and confusion about time differences. In shock, he made a dash to London airport and pleaded to be put on the next available flight, which compassionate staff were able to arrange. He missed the wedding but made it for the wedding dinner.

The weather was bright and sunny right up to the day of the wedding, Friday the 30th of September. On that day, it bucketed down heavy rain relentlessly from early morning until late afternoon. The road conditions made us late to the marriage house, and that meant being late for the rehearsal of our traditional ceremony. I knew zilch about it and was led through the procedure with hasty instructions. In the meantime, Sunah was in dressing rooms getting make-up done. Before I knew it, it was showtime.

Rain also meant that the wedding was not held outdoors, as we had envisaged—in a sunny courtyard with a band in sight of all playing traditional music. Instead, it was held in a small theater, with very comfortable seating I might add. The ceremony itself was conducted up on a stage, with the band to one side and with various props for the performance, including a live chicken that, thankfully, didn’t upstage me. I guess you could say it was a successful theatrical debut.

I surprised myself by not being too unnerved by it all despite the mounting surprises. I think it was because I’d thrown my back out some days earlier and back pain was diverting my concentration–another complication. A lot of bowing was needed—the standing variety and the down on the knees, head to the floor variety—as well as some sitting cross legged, and I had to choreograph movements delicately. At times my smiles were actually a cross between a smile and a grimace, which you may be able to detect in the photos. Anyway, I went through the motions and before I knew it I could relax.

Korean weddings are really quite amusing. There is no compunction on anyone’s part to arrive, leave, or go and eat at any given time. People were coming and going and eating at the buffet provided while the wedding was taking place up on stage. There were many people who attended that I didn’t even see (and didn’t even know), yet I know they were there from the money they left and their recorded names. This is just part of the Korean style of getting things done on the move.

Now for the smoothest part of the wedding. This has all got to do with the Korean style of giving wedding gifts. Some people give gifts (we got one or two) but most give money when they turn up at the wedding house. The custom is for helpers to record who gives money and how much they give. So we ended up with an exercise book full of names and amounts given. This is done so that you know how much to give when one of those people get married, i.e. they get either the same amount or better.

Since weddings here are paid for after the event and not before, we could pay for the wedding in cash with our gift money as soon as it was over. In our case, all the money we amassed (around $10,000 on the day—I kid you not) covered all costs with some left over! Now that’s what I call ‘going smoothly.’ You can imagine that I’m very enthusiastic about this kind of system. It’s a shame you’re only supposed to marry once.

We had the weekend in Seoul after the wedding and before setting of on the European honeymoon. I relate a little about the trip in my Travels section. Once we returned, it was all back to the routine. We had been living together for a while, so for me, nothing was that much different.

In relation, one thing I might mentioned is that, officially, I’m still single! This is because we haven’t yet submitted the official documents, such as those required from my embassy, to the local council office. Also, we can’t do that anyway, because one stipulation on the purchase of our new apartment, the course of which I detail in my New Home posts section, is that a foreigner cannot be part of the contract. That can’t happen until we actually move in.

I guess I’ll just have to stay officially single for another few years!