Seoulscapade

First Woman : Your hair looks really nice today.
Second Woman : Oh, thanks, but all I did was use a cock on it.
First Woman : Really? Mmm . . . I might start doing that.
Second Woman : Oh, yes, a cock is an all in one beauty care system.

Yes, that’s right, it’s not a sex toy. It really is a common hair brush, which is fortunate because that’s what I had hoped I was buying.

What the hell were they thinking?

I’m imagining the boardroom of the manufacturer, when the design team sat to consider an appropriate brand name for their “Beauty Care System” (as it says on the label), or rather this common hair brush. They wanted to give it a cool English name. No one there knew much English. An English dictionary is called for. They fling it open, desperate now because the head guy at the end of the boardroom table is getting impatient. He wants a name decided on so they can start moving product.

They look up “leader” because they want to impress that their brush is a leading product on the market. But the synonyms don’t sound right; “boss”? no, “director”? no, “rooster”? no, they want something cooler. They find “cock”—hey, bingo, what about that? Yeah, it’s shot and snappy. Yeah, that’s cool. Yeeeaaaah.

They explain to the head that they’ve found a word, and that it means “leader.” He’s impressed. He likes that sentiment. He nods his ascent because he likes to think of himself as a, well, a “leader”-head. The Cock goes into production. English speakers all over Korea are aghast.

I’m clutching at straws here.

Maybe they were thinking in terms of to erect, to fabricate, to fashion, as Roget’s Thesaurus has it. Thus, “the Cock” is Konglish for “the Fashioner.” Could that be it?

Really, it’s beyond me.